A Painful Thought & a Dash

The Dash Poem

by Linda Ellis

I read of a man who stood to speak

At the funeral of a friend

He referred to the dates on her tombstone

From the beginning to the end

He noted that first came the date of her birth

And spoke the following date with tears,

But he said what mattered most of all

Was the dash between those years

For that dash represents all the time

That she spent alive on earth.

And now only those who loved her

Know what that little line is worth.

For it matters not how much we own;

The cars, the house, the cash,

What matters is how we live and love

And how we spend our dash.

So think about this long and hard.

Are there things you’d like to change?

For you never know how much time is left,

That can still be rearranged.

If we could just slow down enough

To consider what’s true and real

And always try to understand

The way other people feel.

And be less quick to anger,

And show appreciation more

And love the people in our lives

Like we’ve never loved before.

If we treat each other with respect,

And more often wear a smile

Remembering that this special dash

Might only last a little while.

So, when your eulogy is being read

With your life’s actions to rehash

Would you be proud of the things they say

About how you spent your dash?

Thank you, Oz, for this poem. This one made me think last night. And had me in tears! Not because of all the people I've lost in my life. Just one. Matthew's dash is only 36 hours long. To many, that's just a couple of dreaded workdays, a quick overnight getaway, final prep time before a wedding. To me, it's an eternity. In those 36 hours I was blessed to hold my son, I went through a lifetime of emotion. He fought so hard for me. He taught me more about courage, strength and the power of human touch than anyone ever could. His heartrate was 199 on the monitor, which is dangerously high. But whenever I laid a hand on him or gave him baby massage & sang lullabies, his heart rate dropped to the 120s/130s. Whenever I held him, his vitals seemed to improve. And every time I took a break, he regressed. In that time, he smiled at me and squeezed my finger so hard, just letting me know it would all be okay. And he always looked right in my eyes when I talked to him. These are moments I will never get back, but they are the most powerful moments in my whole life. I challenge each person to think about the dashes in your own lives, cherish the lessons they've taught you & hug your kids.

Running my first marathon in October 2011 in honor of my son, Matthew Gabriel and his beautiful dash 7/6/05 - 7/8/05